excuses, excuses
It has been some time... which is, im almost afraid to say, entirely intentional.
My experience of writing the essay were i think, far more detrimental than i anticipated. I cannot seem to escape negative thoughts, circular reasoning and find it impossible to obtain necessary ignorance with regard to the pointlessness and/or futility of my practice. so i havent really been practicing as it just makes me dwell on these topics all the more and the spiral continues. I keep think theres an illusive point were everything might start to feel a little more comfortable or natural, the more time passes i find it harder want to exist as a member of society in any capacity.... .. So proposal for third year study has been causing me further frustration as i cant really continue my current research without getting into even more of a rant than this is turning out to be. essay feedback tomorrow will possibly offer a chance for discussion with an academic with regard to all this, but really, is their time not better spent with someone less preoccupied with resentment? The group exhibition i am involved with is not only bolstering this marked lack of confidence in my experience of reality, but also serving to assert the stereotypical lazy student.
My experience of writing the essay were i think, far more detrimental than i anticipated. I cannot seem to escape negative thoughts, circular reasoning and find it impossible to obtain necessary ignorance with regard to the pointlessness and/or futility of my practice. so i havent really been practicing as it just makes me dwell on these topics all the more and the spiral continues. I keep think theres an illusive point were everything might start to feel a little more comfortable or natural, the more time passes i find it harder want to exist as a member of society in any capacity.... .. So proposal for third year study has been causing me further frustration as i cant really continue my current research without getting into even more of a rant than this is turning out to be. essay feedback tomorrow will possibly offer a chance for discussion with an academic with regard to all this, but really, is their time not better spent with someone less preoccupied with resentment? The group exhibition i am involved with is not only bolstering this marked lack of confidence in my experience of reality, but also serving to assert the stereotypical lazy student.
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